Whiskey, Sharks, and Sleaze Rock: Pipeman’s No-Holds-Barred Chat with Snake Bite Whisky

0:04 Hey, you're listening to The Adventure of Pudlin on W4CY Radio. This is the Pipe Man. This is not Pipe Man. This is Snake Pied Whiskey. We're here with Pee Pee Man Radio on 4Wacky. Turn the mic on. We're just gonna go with that. Yeah, okay since you took the mic since you're being the wiseass I want to know what's the deal with your boner. Oh No, no, no, no, no, no, we don't talk about that.

0:49 Did a snake bite your boner maybe maybe So that's Florida, but man well it When's the last time you played there? That's a question for Jay. Where? Florida. That would be never. Yeah, see? So it fucking sucks there. Because you guys didn't play there. That's right. The whole state sucks until the Snakes play. Florida? I live in Florida. I won't claim being from there. I'll claim that I live there. That's about all I'll claim. It's a fucking crazy place. That's why we haven't been there. Do you know where I live... It has the second best reef in the world next to the Great Barrier Reef.

1:36 I live on this little barrier island and it's all reef. And we should have a contest. Who has more poisonous shit, Florida or Australia? Let's match. Culturally or with animals? Well, that's a tough question because we actually in Florida... They had to change a law in Florida, and they fucked things up, as lawmakers do. They literally had to outlaw bestiality in Florida. Now, I don't know. You win. Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I don't understand why we're getting the law changed when your koala bears all have chlamydia.

2:20 They do. 95% of them, they say. We're proud of that. That's a very difficult achievement for a general animal population. Are you saying you started it? That's just a two-tablet problem, right? Exactly. Wasn't some dude in Florida busted for fucking an alligator? I don't know, but that would win for sure. At least we don't go around fucking crocodiles. Death roll what about what about crocodile i don't know i'll do a gator but i won't do a crocodile. Yeah they will they will do some damage a. Little bit a little bit they scare me a little bit gators i just walk by and i hey babe what's up.

3:04 And there's a song called crocodile rock and there's a segue from animals to music How good is heavy metal? It sucks looking through those, doesn't it? I mean, it fits my hair, but look at your phone after looking. For those listening at home, Scuba Steve has Pipe Man's John Lennons on. But they're the red ones. They're the red John Lennons. And he looks just as bad as it sounds. There it is. Oh, dear. Look. He even has the snake shirt on. Is that on purpose? I see whiskey stains on there, too. That's what you should do for your merch. It's just like pour whiskey on all the merch.

3:49 This is not a band that pours away whiskey lightly, I can assure you. Well, that's true. Okay, so what's your favorite whiskey? Well, it's Jack Daniels. But then it's which Jack Daniels? So you can go down the rabbit hole of Jack Daniels, and then we can get real. Okay. Like if, you know, on a new single release day, it's a bit of Sinatra Select. What about last year we went to Jack Daniels Distillery? Last year we were on tour in Nashville, and we did make our way to the Jack Daniels Distillery. I can outdo that. Oh, no. I can outdo that. But it's a dry, dry county. You're not allowed to fucking drink it there.

4:31 What the fuck? You can buy a shitload of it. But you can't drink it. I know, that's fucked up, right? Do you know how tortured... We were all gung-ho. I think you guys need to go to the Smoky Mountains instead, to, like, Gatlinburg. In Gatlinburg, they walk around with moonshine all the time, and every store has a different type of moonshine. Oh, that sounds spectacular. Don't break my fucking glasses. Yes. I already broke one pair. These glasses look bad on Scuba Steve, but they now look even more terrible on Nick. He can't wear them because they'll ruin the whole 80s look. I'll send a photo. He's got aviators.

5:11 He's got the 80s. Ripped jeans. Aviators. He's got the 80s aviators. Spider web. Tattoos. Marshall Stacks. Nice. We rehearsed that earlier, just in case we needed to bring that up. That's the new song, right? No, I wish. That's our anthem. If you were to write a new song right now, right here on this show, what would it be? It would be a song about terrible glasses and how lame they make you look, but then the ego boost you get just makes it all worth it. All right, so I want to hear the song. Write the lyrics. Write the lyrics right now.

5:55 Oh, no. Now it's my turn. Daniel Lennon. Daniel Lennon. Oh, no. He looks like he could be. All I see is red. I know. It's weird, right? Wear these for three more hours and I'll be dead. Okay, now write the song. Oh, no. A few more of these and I'm going to be back in bed. He's got the A.I., Oh, these are the AI ones? It's snowing outside. Better grab the sled. Oh, I just heard it. I just heard it in the microphone. Like, I put it on, and it did doo-doo-doo into the microphone. Like, it'll be in the recording. So I'm wearing these AI Ray-Bans.

6:45 They're really good at taking off women's clothes. There's some I don't want to see. Okay, well, look at those over there. Oh, man. How do you like these things, anyway? They're cool. They're a lot of fun. You didn't record me last night, did you? You can capture the moment. You didn't record me last night, did you? I didn't. But now I am. So we are now live on PP Man Radio at 4wacky. com. We're here coming at you live from Florida. Florida, Oklahoma. Listen, you have some competition, okay? Because Airborne, one of the times I interviewed them... Their interview before us, they drank a whole bottle of bourbon.

7:31 They'll do that. Okay? They'll do that. And they came to me, and they announced a Mets baseball game. Can you do that? A what? A New York Mets baseball game. They announced it like the announcers do. I've never seen a game of baseball. Oh, my God. They're the worst person to us. We'll do it. What? Stepping up to the plate. Yeah, there we go. He knows how to do it. Let's give him to do it. Stepping up to the plate, we have J.R. Sleaze. Wait, you got to get rid of the Aussie accent. They got rid of the Aussie accent. They sounded New York. Oh, fuck. How do you even fucking do a New York? I don't do New York.

8:14 Do you do New York? Not really, no, but yeah. You got, everything's, everything's all water, dogs. I don't fucking know. G'day, cunts. We're down here at the fucking Mitz fucking stadium. We're going to have ourselves a beaut fucking day. Sun's fucking shining. The sheilas are out. The beer's fucking cold. Struth almighty. Here comes Big Rock's bandana up to take the fucking first swig. Oh, shit. He's fucking missed it. Oh, my God. Oh, that's a fucking strike. Oh, that's one way to start the fucking game. Oh, hang on. For some reason, he's had seven beers and the bases are loaded. Oh, shit. He hasn't made third base. Oh, but Jimmy Rod's in the dugout.

9:01 He's on fucking third base with Sheila Barker now. Look at him go. Scuba Steve's in the sin bin. Oh, Scuba Steve. Oh, he gets sent off every fucking game. Yellow card. Yeah, yellow. Fuck that cunt off. He fucks shit up. Oh, here we go. Here comes ding dong abba abba bing bong. He's going for it. The bases are fucking loaded. This is for the World Series. Here he goes. Here he goes. Oh, my God. He's sent it out of the fucking park. Oh, that ball's in fucking Midtown. Jeez. Oh, my goodness. Oh, that ball's not coming back. And they've won the World Series. Oh, this is just absolutely fucking spectacular. What a day.

9:42 What a day. I've never seen anything like it. All right. Back to you in the studio, Pipe Man. And now Snakebite Whiskey to perform the national anthem. National anthem? Yeah. Hey, you could do the Australian one. You gotta drink! Fuck! Rock! Okay, I do have to say, except for the fact when you tried to talk like a New Yorker, you sounded like you were South African, you have outdone Airborne. I'll take it. I'll let Joe know. I'll get him on the blog. Okay, so if you really want to outdo Airborne, there's something you have to do here at Rock, Oklahoma that's probably never been done before here. Airborne did an interview at another festival. I think it was Download, okay? And they literally stole a golf cart that had no key in it, and they had their crew push the golf cart around while they did the interview. Can you do that after this interview? Yeah, you're going to be pushing the cart.

10:52 Around, man. I know. We're pushing. You're pushing. Get Sean Nations. He'll push the cart. Black Label Society here. We'll get Zach. He can push a golf cart. We'll ask St. Zach if he can push a golf cart for us. Yeah, do it. He'll do it. I dare you. I don't think he can get the balls. Uncle Kerry's got some big cannons. He'll push us around. Big Kez. I don't think Tom can do it. No, no, I wouldn't bother Tom with it. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, Tom's semi-retired. He's just up there to be there. No, Gary will be on the roof of the golf cart with us. Okay, so you just gave me something else. I dare you guys. I don't think you got the balls to do this, but I dare you guys. During the Slayer set, if you just run up on the stage and run and start ranting your Australian shit across the stage. Come on.

11:49 Come on, Gaz. You got this, buddy. Come on, mate. Raining Blood Solo is coming up. I believe in you, Gaz. I believe in you, soldier. You've got this. You've got this, son. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. See, now what's funny about him is he always seems like he's the less crazy of all of you. We know now that he's the most crazy of all of you. Maybe I finish earlier in the night than these clowns. So I'm fresher earlier. Yeah, later he's just like. Yeah, we've got a rolling coverage for crazy throughout the day.

12:31 I just go first. Yeah, there you go. And as you fade out, he takes over. As I hit my peak at 7 p.m. I do the home run. Uncle Scoob Scoob takes over. Fucking fourth base out of the park. I'm the home run guy. Steven disappears and Scoober Steve comes out to play. Why are you Scuba Steve, anyway? Is it because you wear scuba gear on stage? Because you should. No, man. I used to race boats. You used to race scuba guys? Like, fast race boats. Fast race boats, boats, boats, boats. Yeah, and what does that have to. Do with scuba? And I crashed the boat three times in one day, and, like, sunk it, and then got it up again, and then sunk it, and then got it up again, and then sunk it. And then, this is, like, 40 years ago, and they named me Scuba Steve. And now you can't get rid of it. You can't get rid of it.

13:23 If you earn a nickname in Australia, it's not your fault. You just fucking have to roll with it, and that's what I got. So I'm scuba-sleeved because I crashed my boat three times in one day. Well, you shouldn't have done that. I know. And my race number, hey, 777. Oh, there it is. You know what? And the devil's 666. I'm one better than the devil. And now the story about how I got my nickname, Massive Cock McGee. Here we go. All right, so is this.... So I got a question. If you were about to explain how you got it, why did you hand the mic to him? Does he have something to do with it?

14:09 Hell no. He was there. He was there. Everybody was there. Tell us how Sleaze works. How did Sleaze get the name Sleaze? Sleaze. Sleaze. From being sleazy. I think it has to do with a koala bear. Just saying. And some comedia. Yeah. From wearing the mixer. If Vince Neal was a koala bear, there he is. I don't know if that's a fucking insult or a... I'm talking about Vince Light, fucking young Vince, not fucking Abominable fucking Fat Man Vince.

14:51 He does kind of look like the Abominable Snowman on the Christmas show. I do think that the chlamydia outbreak might have started with Motley's 87 tour. I reckon that's about when the chlamydia started spreading in Australia. I think so. I reckon you're onto something. I think so. I think that's what... And look, he's all quiet over there. He's the dangerous one. He's the dangerous one. He's got the most beads. And it says, blow me. Well, someone's got to do it. See? And that's how... And so. My emergency fireball for later on. I have a very important question, though. Shoot. Did he really have that kind of a monstrous cock?

15:32 They don't call him Kickstand for nothing. He can fuck, he's got a 45 degree lean with no hands. So I gotta really know, when you guys in Australia go to like high school and shit, is one of the classes to learn comedy? Because you're all fucking funny. Every Australian I've ever known is funny. Learning comedy, I don't know, just fucking, just what it is. It's just, yeah, you sort of, if you don't do it because you hang shit on each other all the time. And if you don't fucking do it, you just get left behind. Because like, me, like, When you have to explain sarcasm to somebody, it ain't funny. I live in Florida, and I'm from New York and New Jersey, so sarcasm is like my primary language. And all the time, they have this puzzled look on their face. That's why I like the Aussies. You guys get it. You're just as fucked up.

16:21 As we are. Massive dicks is just not enough with the ladies. You've got to be funny as well. You've got to be funny. It's hard work. Look at all the dudes with little dicks that get the hot model chicks. When you live in a country where everything wants to fucking kill you, you've got to just let it all go and just. Enjoy it. Exactly. I don't know why South Koreans aren't more funny. They've got a lot more to make up for. They should be really, really funny. He'll be here all. Week trying to build. I know, man. You need a new job. You could be a sit-down comedian. I've never heard him so funny. I think I'm just going to have to... Every time I talk to him from now on out there... I'm just going to have my mic with me because he's funny when he has a mic.

17:12 It's heat stroke. It's fucking hot out here. Fucking spinning. So what should people know about Snakebite Whiskey that we haven't covered already? Oh, no, no. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. We're in Oklahoma and nobody gives a shit. Oh, about us? That hasn't already been fucking said. Well, our motto is drink, fight, rock, so that kind of sums up everything you need to know about us. There you go. Ozzy's premier sleaze metal fucking rock and roll band. And is that why you're always in America doing festivals?

17:54 Because they've had enough of you over there? Yeah, they kicked us out, man. They want fucking a bar of us. I know, right? So. Which one of you has been closest to being bitten by a shark? Of course it's scuba. It's going to be scoops. Shark? No, no. What's your favorite shark? Flake at the fish and chip shop. The used car salesman. Right down the road. The white pointer. Yeah. Big, big fans of white pointers and snakebite whiskey.

18:35 Nice. And what do white pointers do that make you big fans? Flash the tits. Well, there it is. There it is. You have sharks in Florida, though. Oh, we have more shark attacks. Lone sharks. We have more shark attacks than anywhere in the world. And that's from the president. Is it? He's a marine biologist by trade, right? Well, it could be worse. He could be like Sarah Palin and see Russia from his balcony. Ah, politics. What a great topic. So, rock and roll. Yeah, rock and roll should make fun of politics. That's why we're making fun of that bullshit.

19:18 And you guys are the best to make fun of everything. And drink, fuck, rock. Is it in that order? Is it in that order? Yeah. So what happens if you. We have got the order wrong occasionally. Oh, fuck drink rock. Oh, fucking... Fuck drink rock? I don't know. Any order you like in it, it doesn't really matter. Isn't it better than. Or you can whiskey bite snake fuck drink rock. One of the. just do the whole lot. That's fucking Yahtzee right there. I've heard, though, that fuck must come before whiskey because without, with whiskey, there is no fuck. Yeah, whiskey dick. Yeah, there's no fuck. So you got to do the fuck first.

20:01 So announcing our next single, Whiskey Dick, it comes out in... 8th of October. Why don't you just do a whole album? It's a love song. Do a whole album like that. Do a whole album like that. Like just everything making fun of your name and what you do. And do you drink whiskey while you're performing? Yes. I think there's some conflict within the band, man. The only conflict is which whiskey and how much. And who has voted? It's replenishment strategy. It's got to be Jack Daniels. That's why you come to the U.S.

20:43 All the time. You want to hear my Jack Daniels distillery story? Go on. So I did a prank call during my live show to the Jack Daniels distillery. It was during the time where our country was making a big deal about the Confederate flag and gay marriage at the same time. So I called them up and I was like, I want to reserve, you know, I want to make a bunch of reservations for my group. We are gay rednecks, and we want to have our meeting at your distillery. We want to be able to bring our bus and park it in the parking lot. I just want to let you know we're going to have a Confederate flag and a gay flag, and I want to make sure that's okay.

21:31 And I went on and on with this shit. And the girl working, like, she thought I was serious. She took my fake credit card and everything to reserve it. And then I got on with the manager afterwards and told him, and he started laughing. You had the reservation under a sausage party, right? Yes, exactly. Big dick. Do you want to hear one of my Jack Daniels stories? Of course, it's only one. Yeah. So, played a show in London, downed a bottle of Jack just before going on the fucking stage. And while we were playing the show, I dropped the mic and I couldn't fucking find the thing. And I was crawling around the stage in circles trying to find the fucking mic.

22:13 Oh my God, that is funny as shit, man. How did the crowd react to that? That's funny. How did the crowd react, Jay? Tell us. Oh, the crowd loved it, but the promoter tried to pull the plug on this, so they came out after the song and were like, okay, that's it, that's it, they finished it. I'm like, no, no, no, no, mate, we ain't finished yet. And I found it eventually, yeah. Listen, they should know better to hire an Aussie band. I mean, like, that's what you're going to do. I think our second gig in Melbourne, another Melbourne gig, second gig, but me and Dan played with you, and you fucking fell off the stage. Oh, that's a Jack Daniels story. To be fair, all of.

22:56 Our stories are Jack Daniels stories. Did he continue to play? Like fucking arse end, yeah, kept singing. Didn't miss a note. Nice. See, I love that. I actually saw Body Count and Vincent Price play. Went to jump off the stage, and the stage was pretty fucking high, and he broke his leg. And he was still on the ground, broken leg, playing. I'm like, what a badass. Foo Fighters did that. Yeah, he stacked it big time. Yeah, on stage and broke his leg. And he was trying to save a beer, which made it all the more hilarious.

23:38 Okay, I'll top all of that. I used to ask a question all the time, one story, good or bad, in your whole musical career, what would it be? The number one answer by artists was, when I shit my pants on stage. Not yet. Well, you're not drinking enough. Stacey's had a moment or two. Stacey's mom? No, we haven't had Stacey's mom on stage. Did she shit on stage? Stacey's mom? Yeah, she had it going everywhere. Well, we do have a story, but it's Stace who's obviously not here now, because he stayed at home. When we were on tour in England, we played Hard Rock Hell Sleaze Festival, and afterwards we were back at the hotel, and everyone's fucked up, like totally fucked up. So eventually I went back to the fucking room and fucking Stacey was downstairs. Four hours later, he was in the hotel room opposite the corridor. So about four hours later, there's a fucking knock on the door. So I get up.

24:47 I'm like, what the fuck, man? And there's a security guy there. And he goes, he's got Stacey with him. And he goes, oi, is this what were you? And I'm like, no, mate. I don't know this cunt. No, he's in that room over there. Anyway, it turns out he'd, and he won't mind us telling the story because he's got no shame at all. He passed out in the fucking, on the floor in the lobby and then shat himself. Ah. In the lobby. In the lobby. He did a lobby jobby. Was that because of Stacey's mom? Yeah, definitely. So, anything else you got coming up after Rock, Oklahoma you want to tell people about?

25:29 Just working on new songs, new music. Got some shows coming up at the end of the year. Just the usual. Ticking along. Keep on keeping on. Stay tuned for Whiskey Dick. Yeah, so we're like in the midst of writing the third album now, which will hopefully come out next year if all goes well. And then in November we're playing with Enough's Enough and Pretty Boy Floyd in our hometown in Brisbane. Nice. That'd be cool, yeah. That's a cool gig right there. Is there a band that you haven't played with that you guys really like, that's your dream band to play with? Everybody would have their own one, wouldn't they? Yeah. Yeah. For me, it would be Guns N' Roses. I'd love to do that show.

26:13 How would I not know that? How about you, Nat? Oh, fuck. Just fucking all of them. It doesn't really matter. Just let's fucking do it. Nice. Fleetwood Mac. Okay. I think. Yeah. Can you do that? I just never want to break the chain, but whatever. ABBA. ABBA. ABBA. Now we've got a festival. ABBA. Good job, good job. Well, this has been really fun.

26:59 Oh, look, a boomerang. Is that your whiskey, Dick? Yeah. We give these to chicks because they always come back. On that note. Damn it, damn it. I ruined it. Let's go. You guys fucking rock, though. I love seeing you here at Rock, Oklahoma. I love seeing you guys, period. You got to come to Florida or go fuck yourself. And thanks for being on the Adventures of Pipe Man. Thanks, Pipe Man. You're a fucking legend. Good to see you again, buddy. Love you. Bye. Love you. Good eye. Thank you for listening to the Adventures of Pipe Man.

27:41 On W4CY radio.